I have hit a place where I struggle with transparency between my private life and close friends and what they know versus what do I reveal on blog posts about myself for those who don’t know me but like my music and or have accidentally landed on my website or tumblr page. I love the myth behind great artists from all walks of life and not knowing what their fears are and what they eat or what shoes soap they use. A little mystery is always good. For me personally the whole reason I make music is because of the connection I make with people.
A few years back I was ready to stop writing songs. I had enough of trying to impress the gate keepers of the industry and felt I was being held hostage by the state of my surroundings in the musical realm of my life. Then I met my dear and close friend Corey Flegel, from This Is American Music. From the first moment I met Corey I called him the great facilitator and connector. If you meet him you will understand. Corey set it up for me to play 10 dates, or something like that, with Glossary on a house tour. While on this tour I met people who were pure fans of music. For a time I had lost some perspective on why I am called to make music, even though there have been times where I want to run from it all, including daily life, and never touch a guitar again. The problem is that I can’t stop making music and I am glad I have not stopped. To have fans that you can talk to, and relate to on a personal level about the joys and sorrows of life. At the end of the day we are all human, we all have flaws, we all make mistakes, we all want happiness, we all experience sorry and loss, we all go through break ups, we all go through new beginnings and we are all just trying to enjoy the short life we have in a cruel, and beautiful world.
So it seems I am deciding to be more transparent, just to a point, but to at least show I have my ups and downs and I do not live in a disney movie. Yesterday for instance I had a complete panic attack in Target, why? Because they did not have the right cleaning product. I have some OCD issues that I face on a daily basis. If I do not have the same ring on, or use the same cleaning product, or use the same scented oil, then I start to panic and not breathe. It sucks and I know that of other people that have weird ticks as well.
I just want to connect with people around the world and music is my outlet to do so, but I want to make sure people understand I feel pain and pleasure just like the next man or woman and I write music and the joys and sorrows of life even when it rips my heart apart to do so. I hope I see all of you in the very near future and that your lives are filled with peace and happiness.